Taylor Swift 1989: So is it any good?

                       

                       

So T. Swift's album 1989 is available from today and since I've had an amazing sneak peak of her latest body of work I just thought that I'd take some time out of my day to share my first reactions and over all impression of this album:)

First things first (don't say 'I'm the realest' fight it! haha) I need to discuss the freaking amazing cover art! I know what you're thinking!' It's just a Polaroid picture Zoe, whats so special about it? Well the fact that T. Swift is reminding us once again that less is more and doing it in style I might add is wonderful! I love how Taylor has always stuck to her guns about using her music in order to sell her music and not her body like some people...(Cough, Cough) 

 

Don't get me wrong despite the provocative album covers I know that these women are wonderfully talented and that they could sell their music without baring it all but I don't think they realize this. Living in a dominantly patriarchal society images like these have become so normalized that people have been desensitized towards them. I't like how images of people dying on the news every night has just become apart of our daily routine, there is a lack of empathy and understanding in us while viewing these images that is very problematic.

I understand that these women claim to be taking control of their bodies by flaunting it and not being ashamed of the way they look, but we should remember that there is a fine line between taking control of one's body in a sense that leaves you exposed and vulnerable and  using it as a product to 'up your sales' or to 'get more exposure'. The thing both being naked on your own terms in a public space and being naked on other people's terms have in common is a lack of respect and self worth. Women are better then this and we deserve better. Not just from others but from ourselves as well.

But I digress.Anyway... back to 1989

As I said earlier before I went on yet another one of my rants (I'm sorry). The cover art of 1989 is artistically done and it definitely reflects the whole 80's vibe of the album. I give it a big thumbs up:)

However, to the album as a whole? Well to that I give an even BIGGER thumbs up!And now you're probably like but Zoe...

 'No. No i'ts not absurd'! I'm telling you people this is Tay-Tay's best album yet! From the moment I pressed play at the beginning of the weekend until now, 72 hours later, I have been obsessed with each and every one of the songs on this album! Their catchy, up-beat but at times deep, super fun but most importantly they are very much 80's baby and you will love every second of it! It's the perfect combination of feel good music and Tay's typical sorrow filled ballads. 1989 is also her first official Pop album even though her previous country albums had their fare share of Pop this is a very new territory for the songstress and I must say she nailed it! Claps for T. Swift, a genuine artist and role model.

I obviously have a few favorites from 1989 which include the following:

'So... 7 songs huh? That's basically the whole album Zoe'

Don't judge me! haha You know what? I dare you to go out, buy this album and find less then 7 favorite songs! Prepare to fail miserably:D Mwuahahahah (evil laugh)

I hope you liked this blow by blow because I liked sharing my feels!Comment down below or tick the reaction boxes:) Have you heard the album?what are your thoughts and feels?

*Disclaimer*

(I'm buying the album as soon as I can. Taylor spent 2 years working on this album and I think she deserves every single album sale there is)

Quote the lyrics:

'Band aids don't fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show. You live like that, you'll live with ghosts'

'We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. Life was never worse but never better'

'You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out. You're in love, true love'

I almost forgot! Here's a snippet of one of my faves, Style along with a awesome montage of T.Swift:

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Sorry, Not Sorry!

It has come to my attention now that I’m in varsity and after I had fallen victim to the freshman 15 (or in my case the freshman undetermined) that my weight gain offends the people around me for some reason...  It is not enough that my clothes have turned against me and shrunk in disgust to the most unrealistic sizes, or that strangers give me dirty looks because I have the audacity to eat a freaking ice-cream cone and that I’m constantly comparing my body with every other girl in a crop top and Daisy Duke shorts...No, apparently I need to be reminded of the weight I've gained by every single adult in my life which is ironic because lets be brutally honest once you've passed the age of 40 the chances of you rocking a crop top and Daisy Dukes are slim to none so why is everyone and their grandmother commenting on my body? Do I relinquish my right to receiving the common decency of a white lie every once in a while simply because I am young and my metabolism should be on point or can you just say what you want because of all your apparent wisdom? Okay so I’m being a little mean and I apologize for that but I won’t apologize for gaining a few kilograms and having something to say about it.

People wonder why women resort to eating disorders in the pursuit of attaining a skinny frame when they know for a fact that women are constantly being bombarded with images of slim women parading around half naked in music videos and clothing adds (defeating the whole purpose of the add in the first place by the way) while women with regular curvy bodies are presented as the before in weight loss adds or the quirky funny best friend in romantic comedies, like being chubby automatically makes you a comedian. Come on now people we get exposed to these subjective beauty ideologies more than we can stomach the least you can do is keep your snide remarks and ‘helpful’ encouragements to yourselves. Telling me that I need to start making a plan ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ is not helpful it is bullying and offensive. What makes you think that I am not completely comfortable and happy with the way that I look? Your view on beauty is not automatically the same as mine. The only time ‘encouraging comments’ might be acceptable is if i’m on my way to becoming obese and there are health concerns associated with my weight. In this scenario I would gladly accept your concern but don’t feel the need to voice your opinion simply because my thighs are covered in cellulite and the sight of it burns your eyes, I would recommend that you simply divert your gaze and appreciate the clouds or something.

Would you find it offensive if I went up to you and suggested plastic surgery for your crooked nose or braces for your vampy teeth? Yes, of course you would so next time you feel inclined to comment on my thighs or tummy I’ll be morally obligated to punch you in the face and you’ll walk away knowing that you very much deserved it.

Women are not placed on this earth simply with the intention of becoming vessels for procreation or to look good on the arm of their male counterparts, we are not objects simply to be admired from a far. Women are complex creatures who have the ability to be powerful, successful and happy despite what they look like because when it comes down to it idealized beauty is often unattainable unless you resort to mutilating your body through various plastic surgeries because weight is not the only factor. You might be stick thin and still find yourself being attacked by various ideals of beauty. At the heart of it all you can never measure up to anyone’s expectations because there is such a huge variety of men and women who all have their own idea of beauty and unless you feel the need to change your look every day to please other people you will have to realize that you determine your own view on beauty and that your happiness and your opinion is the only one you should be listening to.

I might lose what I've gained this year or I might not. The point is that it is my decision. Being a specific size does not hinder your ability to reach your goals in life or to find love so why is everyone making it a priority? If it would make you happy go for it if you couldn't care less and you quite enjoy your new found curves embrace it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. In conclusion I will leave you with these wise words by Mindy Kaling, a woman I have infinite love and respect for: 

  

The aspiring writer's proses

So lets just get this out in the open despite what some may think writers don't always get their ideas from observing people and landscapes or by having them fall from the sky on a tragic but beautiful day..No, sometimes writers need to brainstorm for ideas on what the hell to write about and sadly it generally goes a little like this 

Ok, so maybe the first 100 things don't make sense at all or they do but you know for a fact that you are in able of doing it any justice because lets face it genetically formed clones/ android armies might sound awesome initially until you realize that your knowledge on the subject is quite limited to say the least so you do the smart thing and put that idea on the back burner and continue typing nonsense until.. DING! 1100 random words later an idea manifests

Yay! You had a thought! Good for you now start outlining your plot, forming your characters, structuring the story and create! You've got this, how hard can it be?

Low and behold things are actually starting to take form, you have your whole story mapped out and dang does it sound awesome. Divergent what? Veronica who? This is a bestseller in the making and soon everyone will be buying your book... but first, you are gonna have to start typing so you do

and you type some more

and more

Only two hours later...

You couldn't even get passed the first sentence. 

but never the less you deserve a break only...

another two hours later you return to your desk less than enthused but this is your dream right? You have to suck it up and do it and some point

or you can leave it for tomorrow and start fresh and by tomorrow I mean NEVER

Jip, that's pretty much how it goes because you know what?



The End

My Anxieties Have Anxieties

* Disclaimer* This post is based on my own experiences and I am in no way generalizing about social anxieties. Everyone experiences it differently. That being said...
  
In 2013 I was on a Gap year which some of you might have read about in my previous post, The Gap (Crap)Year,  and all throughout the year my only wish was to be at University so I could start my degree and hopefully my life! To my knowledge all I had to do was get here and a whole range of possibilities would be within my reach. Not only would I be at the best University in South Africa, meeting a whole new group of people with the same interests as me but I would be doing what I love, which is writing and reading ALOT considering the courses I was interested in were Media and Writing and English Literature. I knew that leaving everyone behind for a while would be extremely hard but I never thought that it would be unbearable. For the most part I was equally excited and nervous. This would be the year I truly grow up, I was ready for it, I even welcomed it! Only now I know better.

I never knew that I had social anxiety issues until my first year of University. To say that I was caught off guard would be an understatement. I did drama all through high school for pete’s sake and here I was avoiding the bathroom in my hostel corridor despite my full bladder because people were gathered in the hallway, turning a bright shade of red the moment anyone called my name or asked me a question, finding every single secluded spot on campus to eat my lunch, read and avoid (well) everyone...

In short my life became a complete contradiction to the saying No Man Is An Island and eventually I was plagued with homesickness. The phone calls home became more frequent and I rarely ever left my room aside from attending classes. My varsity experience was anything but pleasant and as the days went by it started to take a toll on me. To be clear I was not depressed I simply was not happy and all I wanted was to go back home. Eventually I made the decision to get some help and I saw a psychiatrist. Unfortunately this only consisted of me talking about my feelings for an hour each week and it was not what I was looking for. What I wanted was for someone to literally tell me how to get passed my anxiety and considering the fact that I had more than enough people back home who were willing to listen I decided to end my sessions.

 To this day I still have anxiety issues, I avoid crowds and spend most of my time in my room but things have changed for the better in some ways. I’ve made a few friends along the way with whom I regularly talk to and check in with every now and then which was something I didn’t do when I first got here. A few months ago I would flee immediately and retreat back to my room whenever I felt even slightly uncomfortable or out of place, which was most of the time, but I’ve found that its by sticking around and working through those awkward stages that you eventually end up finding the people who will support you and challenge you enough that you find a way to push past the walls you’ve put up and eventually find a way to open up and be yourself, completely and comfortably.

 For those of you who assumed that this post would have a happy ending I’m sorry to disappoint but as you might know happiness is a slow process and every little improvement has its own pace. I’m still having trouble adjusting and finding my way but I’m not as unhappy as I used to be I do however wish that I could have changed a few things along the way that would have made adjusting so much easier. Alas I do have some advice to share with students who will be embarking on their Varsity journey next year. Hopefully these few recommendations will help you towards making your varsity journey the happiest it can beJ

·         Firstly, deciding on a University is a very important decision to make, do not take it lightly! The institution you will be attending will be your home for the next 3-4 years of your life, that is a very big deal. You want to make sure you get the best education possible but, that is not the only thing to consider. If you know in your heart that you might have trouble adjusting do not pick a Varsity in a city or town where there isn’t a single person you know. Sometimes it seems like having a fresh start is the best option available but having familiar faces around while you’re trying to navigate more new things than you can count is the most comforting thing  on earth!

·    
         Secondly, if you are moving into a res or a flat make sure that you share it with someone who goes to the same varsity as you. The first friend you will make will most probably be your room mate so try and get to know the person before you move in together. Send each other emails, get excited about first year together and by the time you move in there will be no awkwardness between the two of you and the stress of making friends will be all but gone. Living alone in a flat or having your own room as a first year might seems ideal but tackling varsity on your own is a lot less fun and significantly more intimidating.

·        Thirdly, join a society! You don’t have to do sports the chances of your varsity having a book club or a film society is good so do not let that chance pass you by. The workload might be a bit on the heavy side and the thought of joining something else seems a bit ridiculous but you will benefit from it. When you attend a big University finding people who share the same interests you do is almost impossible if you don’t join a society. These groups are much smaller which increases your chances of making new and interesting friends in the beginning of the year.

·         Do Not Ignore Invitations! Social anxiety can be overcome. The thing is you don’t fear the things you know and the only way to familiarize yourself with other people and places is to join them. The next time someone invites you to do something, do it! Challenge yourself and see how far it takes you. If anxiety is holding you back from living up to your full potential don’t just sit back and let it take opportunities away from you a make your world smaller because you will look back one day and regret every single chance you missed and unfortunately there is no turning back time.  

·         And last but not least. If you tried all of these recommendations and none of them worked for you don’t despair! Chances are your varsity has counselling services where there are groups specifically for people who have trouble adjusting. Talk to whoever is in charge at your wellness center and find out as much as you can. The thing is as much as it might feel like you are, You are not alone. Thousands of students struggle with adjusting, you might even have seen them around campus brooding and alone but you don’t have the courage to talk to them they probably feel the same. People are not meant to be alone, we need each other for support and comfort which is why there is a thing called group counselling! Sign up and you might be surprised by the amount of things you have in common with others who thought they were just as alone as you!

Enough of my rambling!haha I hope that by sharing my personal experience someone might benefit from it. Social anxiety and loneliness is rarely spoken of unless it’s through fiction or hypothetical situations which is why I wanted to talk about it today. If there is anyone who wants some further advice or simply someone to talk to feel free to comment down below or to send me an email and I’ll be sure to respond to the best of my ability.

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Xx        

The Gap (Crap) Year

After 12 years of school I'm pretty sure the term Gap year sounds pretty sweet after matriculation.Especially to those pupils who have no clue what they want to do after the school uniforms, endless amounts of home work and exams cease to exist and their handed a piece of paper as a summery of what they have been doing for the last twelve years of their lives.It’s pretty depressing, not to mention limiting!

So you don't have that 90% average you were gunning for you might not even have enough to qualify for the degree you were planning on doing next year, so what now? “I might need a year to think about it” you decide as you start picturing yourself laying next to the pool and soaking up some sun with a six pack of beer in the cooler bag next to you, so care free, so relaxed right..?Wrong!

Unless you have access to unlimited funds and your parents wouldn't mind you laying around the house for the next 365 days this should not be an option! I however was unlucky enough to find myself at home on my fathers couch in front of the TV 24/7 after receiving my Senior Certificate last year.

Not because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life or because my marks limited me from doing so but simply because University is a shit load of money and the bank had not yet approved my loan before my classes started. Sucks balls right?Yes,yes indeed.

Anyway after I repacked my bags and cried my eyes out for most of the bus ride home. I decided that if I was going to survive this I might as well make the best of it.Get a job, get my drivers license, I might even lose some weight!Ha, was I in for a surprise..

You see getting a job in the real world with nothing but a Senior Certificate is almost impossible.Everyone wants to hire people with previous experience and I had nada. So I phoned our local newspaper and asked if I could work there for a week or two just to see how things were done ( oh yeah, I want to be a journalist) and luckily for me they were a journalist short that week and I was hired!Unpaid of course, but that didn't matter because I had something to do and that was enough besides I could put that on my CV for next year.I was excited.Maybe this year wouldn't be so bad after all I thought as I went in to work everyday wrote a few articles and was sent out to take pictures of school events and other news worthy activities ( I live in a small town).Needless to say I was content.That was until they got a real journalist and I was sent home two weeks later and a surprising R1000 richer. That kind of dulled the pain for a while and I being the “dedicated” person I was started a new job 3 days later as a waitress at O’hagens.

This is a period of my life I am reluctant to revisit as it was the most hellish two weeks of my life!!!!! But share I must. First of all we did not get paid the first week because we were still being trained and we were not allowed to serve any tables which means we had to follow some of the more seasoned waiters around to see what was up. The first time waiters had to work from 8am-3am with a break of about two hours.Yes, we only had 5 hours of sleep.Boom! luckily for us our training ended early and 3 days later we got our own tables which meant we could get TIIIIIIIPs! This new and exciting concept had breathed new life into us and we were taking orders like it was nobodies business. We even started stealing each others tables even though keeping everyone’s orders straight was getting more and more difficult just so we had more to look forward to at the end of the night. By the end of my second week I had heard more than my fair share of cussing by the way. Things had gotten ugly but at least we had our first pay checks to look forward to.Or not! Turns out we had to pay for the uniforms we got earlier that week our selves and we still owed the restaurant owners.And That ladies and gents was the final straw.I was not going to work like a slave any more I thought and quite the very next day. I knew that I could get something better by the next month I just had to touch up my CV and send it out. I was confidant, I was determined but most of all I was wrong...

It’s six months later and I'm still very much unemployed.I spend my days on the internet browsing various social networks or I am in front of the TV.I have put on more than a few pounds even though I workout twice a day because I snack all day out of shear boredom. The only Good thing that has come out of this year is my Boyfriend who I love very very much.He has made this year more than bearable. But I cant wait to go to Uni next year, get a degree and start paying my dues! Because People like us (matriculants) don't belong in the real world that's why we are throne curve ball after curve ball so we can hall our asses back to school and finish a degree. My advice?Don't Delay Your Life.Unless you’re going to use your Gap year productively and you have a plan It simply is not worth it!

My Thoughts

Welcome to The Rabbit Hole lovelies! This Blog is mainly devoted to the wonderful works of children's literature but, I will be sharing my thoughts and feelings on a number of things that I consider to be important and beneficial to everyone who stumbles upon my page. I in no way consider myself an expert on life and love or any of the other subjects I might tackle so feel free to tell me when I step on some toes but just keep in mind that everything said on this page is based on my personal opinions and that I have no agenda what so ever except maybe to make sense of this huge nicker ball we call earth by letting you help me figure it all out.:)

Stay tuned 

Xx